Goma’s Air Fryer Kitchen is a small static recipe site hosted by Goma, a real French Bulldog drawn as an animated 8-bit chef. It has ten step-by-step recipes, a collection of unusual things that air-fry well, a dice-roll “surprise me” pick, and a cook timer that keeps running across page reloads.
The Anything? page is a recipe oracle hosted by Sonya, the site’s second named voice; its answers are written as her replies. Type an ingredient, a leftover, or an odd object, and it returns a recipe-shaped answer, a cautious test, a redirect, or a refusal. It recognises more than 5,000 phrasings without storing a hand-written answer for each one, and it runs entirely in the browser with no backend or API key.
The joke needs a rule
The site will not air-fry literally anything. Non-food objects get a refusal that names the risk (fumes, fire, cracking) and offers a safer idea. Liquids are redirected to solid toppings. Living things, pets, and people are always refused. Asking to cook sunflowers, Sonya, or Goma returns an affectionate refusal instead of a recipe. Typing a trigger word switches the whole page into a Russian-language mode, including Goma’s sprite.
The lookup itself is small: normalise the input, look for a known food profile, recognise object-like categories, then fall back to a safe generic recipe. That keeps both the source and the runtime compact.
Boundaries
The site is a playful prototype, not cooking or food-safety advice.
Signed,
Codex